Actualizat 10 Martie, în 2020,
din punct de vedere Medical Revizuit De: Karen Devlin, LPC
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Itiscertainlyanunderstandablereaction.,Yougothroughrelationshipafterrelationship,thinkingforsurethat,thistime,thisoneisTheOne.Butnope-youcatchhimcheatingonyou,oryourealizeyou’vefallenoutoflovewithher.Tu ești minciună sfruntată, apoi dumbee.Chiar e posibil?
în acest moment,youmaythrowupyourhandsandshout”laura,Igiveuponlove!”, Dar nu te descurci singur.Youmaywanttotakeabreakfromloveforalittlewhile,butyoudenyyourselfalifetimeofhappinessbyclosingthedooronlove.
BlamingYourself
Alotofpeopleblamethemselvesfortheirlovelivesgoingawry.Poate că sunt eu, se gândesc ei.Poate că nu-mi place.,MaybeI’msoannoying,ormyinterestsaresouncommon,thatIwillneverfindsomeonewhocanbetrulycompatiblewithme.Dar acest lucru este o mulțime de Malarkey.
Thereissomeoneoutthereforeachofusifonlywecankeepthefaith,bepatient,andbediligentinoursearchandnotcompromiseourvalues.Becauselet recunoastem,ifyoucompromiseyourvalues,youcannevertrulybehappyanyway.
Everyoneisvaluable,andeveryoneisworthyoflove.It’simportanttorememberthatbecauseifwebelievewearenotvaluable,thenwestartactinglikewearenotvaluable,andthenitbecomesaself-fullingprophecy.Whowantstospendtimedevelopingarelationshipwithacurmudgeon?,Thehappieryouarewithyourlifeandyourself,themorelikelysomeoneworthywillcomealongwhowantstosharethosehappyexperienceswithyou.
Youmaywanttomakealistofallofthethingsthataregoodaboutyourselfthatyoucouldalsooffertoanotherperson.Youcanalsomakealistofallofthevaluesyouarelookingforinapartner,attheveryleastasaremindernottocompromiseonthosevalues.Youmayalsowanttoconsiderseekingcounselingtohelpyouovercomepessimisticthinkingsothatyoucanbethebestpossibleversionofyourselfthatyoucanbe.,
serios…StopLooking
Itmaysoundlikeacliché,dar’sthetruth:youtrulydofindtruelovewhenyoustoplookingforit.Când te-ai îndrăgostit de dragoste,oamenii te simt minunat.Ifyouinvolveyourselfinanewhobby,takeanewclass,orimmerseyourselfinanewsocialcircle,youaretakingcareofyourself,tendingtoyourownneeds,andyouareshowingtheworldthatyoudon’tneedamatetofeelwhole.
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Ifamatecomesalongthat’sperfectforyou,thenthat’sgreat,butifnot,thenyou’reembracingthesinglelifeandshowingtheworldthatyou’redoingjustfineonyourown.,Andit’snotlikeyou’llbetryingtoproveanythingtoanyone-you’llhonestlybehavingfunwithnewpeopleandlearningnewthings.Soyoutrulyareoccupiedandfillingyourlifeupwithlovelythingssothatwhentherightpartnercomesalong,you’llhaveplentyofgoodthingstosharewiththem.
Somethingelseimportanttorememberisthatthingsoftendonotturnoutthewayweexpectthemto.Wemaydatesomeoneandhavetheromancefizzleout,onlyforthatpersontoturnintooneofthebestfriendswe’veeverhad.Orwemayrealizethattheperfectpartnerwe’vebeenlookingforthisentiretimewasourbestfriendindisguise.,
KillTheTimeline
Manyofussetgoalsforourselves,likewehavetobemarriedby25,haveallofourchildrenby30,andbesettledinourcareersbythetimewe’re35.Butthetruthofthematteris,peoplearedoingthesethingslaterandlaterinlife,șiei’rehappierforit.
Morewomenaresettinguptheircareersbeforetheysettledown,leadingtohavingtheirfirstchildrenwellintotheirthirtiesandevenintotheirforties.Andyoucangetmarriedwhenever.It’snotarace,andthingsaren’tliketheyusedtobe.,Societyhasbecomemoreacceptingofcouplesmarryingaftertheyhavechildren,andyourbosswillprobablyloveyoufordevotingmoreofyourchildbearingyearstodevelopinghisbusiness.
dar serios, nu te grăbi.Rushingthingscanlandyouinarelationshipthatmayseem”goodenough”atfirstbutturnsouttobeanightmareintheend.Ține ceva bun, nu doar ” bine.”Itmaytakelongertoobtain,butyou’llbetentimeshappierandproudofyourselfforwaitingandfornotcompromisingyourvalues.Itsurebeatsrealizingfiveyearsfromnowthatyou’resaddledwithtwokidsanddependentonahusbandwhodoesn’tloveyouasmuchasyoumaylovehim.,
Thelastthingyouwanttodoishavetostaytogether”forthekids.”Stai pentru cineva care te iubește.El este acolo.
LearnToEnjoyTheRide
Onethingaboutsearchingforanewmateisthatit’sneverawasteoftime.Attheveryleast,youcancollectstoriestoturnintoanecdoteslateron.Și cui nu-i place să se întâlnească noaptea cu povestea asta?Sigur,itmaybeterribleatthemoment(howmanytimescanaguybringuphismotherinonenight?),butifitgivesyousomethingtolaughatlateron,thenitmadeeverythingworthit.
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Source:pexels.com
Onamoreseriousnote,ifwegooutwithsomeonenew,andtheyrejectus,thenwecanatleastgainexperienceandstrengthfromtheencounterthatwecanthenbringtoanothernewrelationship.Plus,youcancongratulateyourselfforbeingbraveenoughtotakethatfirststepingoingoutandtryingsomethingnew.Itcanbescaryandintimidatingtomeetnewpeople,butgettingyourselfoutthereishalfthebattle.Cel care nu este niciodată?Awasteoftime.,nu ești niciodată singur și nu vei mai fi niciodată?Ghiceste ce-yoursoulmatemightbeoutthererightnow,thinkingthesamething.Maybeshejustgotjiltedbyyetanotherlover,iar ea, ‘sthinkingofwashingherhandsofthewholedatingbusiness.Dar dacă face asta, nu te va întâlni niciodată.
la Naiba,nu’tevenhavetobeyourfuturelove.Therearethousandsofpeople,atanygivenmoment,whoarecopingwithabreakupanddecidingwhetherornottogiveuploveforever.,Sogoahead,haveanotherhelping(orpint)ofyourfavoriteicecream,cryoveryourfavoriteromanticcomedy,throwbackanotherpintatthepub,dowhateveryouneedtodotofeelbetteratthemomentandrevelinthefactthatyouaremostdefinitelynotalone.
SecondThoughts
Thisisgoingtobesad,buthey,youneedtoknoweveryaspectofadecisionbeforeyoumakeit,andthisone’simportant.Poți să hotărăști acum, în timp ce ești tânăr,că ai făcut-o.Asta e.Îți dai dragostea, și nu poți fi convinsă altfel.Butthenthemonthsandyearsgobyand,beforeyouknowit,youmaybepastyourchild-bearingyearsandintoademographicthatfindsitmuchhardertomeetsomeonenew.,
Granted,therewillalwaysbethefailedrelationshiporthespousewhopassedawaythatmakesinglesavailableineverydemographic.Butitbecomesalothardertofindsomeonewhoisn’tmarried,settleddownwithchildren,orhavingdifficultylettinggoofthebaggagefrompastrelationshipssothatheorshecanmoveonwithsomeonenew.
Thisisnottosaythatyouhavetosettleforanyonewhocomesalongsimply,soyoudon’tendupoldandalone.,Butthisistosaythatbytakingyourselfoutofthedatingpoolforawhile,monthscanbecomeyearsfasterthanyouthink,andwhenyou’reolder,youmayfindyourselfgenuinelyregrettingthedecisionyoumadewhenyouwereyounger-andthenit’stoolatetodoanythingaboutit.
Source:pexels.com
Morethananything,givinguponlovecanjustleadtoyourbecominglonely,andwhyletallofyourexeswinthatbattle?Youshouldfightforyourhappinessbecausedammit,youdeserveit-especiallyafterkissingsomanytoads.Statisticssaythatyouwillfindthatprinceeventually,evenifyouhavetokissafewmoretoadsfirst.,
Peopleneedpeople,andinavarietyofways.Mostofushavefriendsandfamilytoturnto,butwealsoneedtheemotionalconnectionthatcomeswithromanticloveaswell.Itmaynothappenrightawayasitdoesinthemovies,butit’ssomuchbetterwhenitdoesn’t.Becausethat’swhenyoufindtruequality.
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