Opdateret Marts 10, 2020
Lægeligt Revideret Af: Karen Devlin, LPC
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Denne hjemmeside ejes og drives af BetterHelp, der modtager alle gebyrer, der er forbundet med platform.
Source:rawpixel.com
Itiscertainlyanunderstandablereaction.,Yougothroughrelationshipafterrelationship,thinkingforsurethat,thistime,thisoneisTheOne.Men du fanger dig, eller du lader dig falde fra hende.Du er dumperen, dumpee.Er det virkelig muligt?
Atthispoint,youmaythrowupyourhandsandshout”, der’sit,Igiveuponlove!”Men du er ikke helt sikker på dig selv.Youmaywanttotakeabreakfromloveforalittlewhile,butyoudenyyourselfalifetimeofhappinessbyclosingthedooronlove.
BlamingYourself
Alotofpeopleblamethemselvesfortheirlovelivesgoingawry.Måske er det mig,de tror.Måske er jeg ikke elskelig.,MaybeI’msoannoying,ormyinterestsaresouncommon,thatIwillneverfindsomeonewhocanbetrulycompatiblewithme.Men dette er en belastning af Malarkey.
Thereissomeoneoutthereforeachofusifonlywecankeepthefaith,bepatient,andbediligentinoursearchandnotcompromiseourvalues.Becauselet’sfaceit,ifyoucompromiseyourvalues,youcannevertrulybehappyanyway.
Everyoneisvaluable,andeveryoneisworthyoflove.It’simportanttorememberthatbecauseifwebelievewearenotvaluable,thenwestartactinglikewearenotvaluable,andthenitbecomesaself-fullingprophecy.Whowantstospendtimedevelopingarelationshipwithacurmudgeon?,Thehappieryouarewithyourlifeandyourself,themorelikelysomeoneworthywillcomealongwhowantstosharethosehappyexperienceswithyou.
Youmaywanttomakealistofallofthethingsthataregoodaboutyourselfthatyoucouldalsooffertoanotherperson.Youcanalsomakealistofallofthevaluesyouarelookingforinapartner,attheveryleastasaremindernottocompromiseonthosevalues.Youmayalsowanttoconsiderseekingcounselingtohelpyouovercomepessimisticthinkingsothatyoucanbethebestpossibleversionofyourselfthatyoucanbe.,
alvorligt…StopLooking
Itmaysoundlikeacliché,butit’sthetruth:youtrulydofindtruelovewhenyoustoplookingforit.Når du elsker dig, kan folk bare slå dig løs.Ifyouinvolveyourselfinanewhobby,takeanewclass,orimmerseyourselfinanewsocialcircle,youaretakingcareofyourself,tendingtoyourownneeds,andyouareshowingtheworldthatyoudon’tneedamatetofeelwhole.
Source:rawpixel.com
Ifamatecomesalongthat’sperfectforyou,thenthat’sgreat,butifnot,thenyou’reembracingthesinglelifeandshowingtheworldthatyou’redoingjustfineonyourown.,Andit’snotlikeyou’llbetryingtoproveanythingtoanyone-you’llhonestlybehavingfunwithnewpeopleandlearningnewthings.Soyoutrulyareoccupiedandfillingyourlifeupwithlovelythingssothatwhentherightpartnercomesalong,you’llhaveplentyofgoodthingstosharewiththem.
Somethingelseimportanttorememberisthatthingsoftendonotturnoutthewayweexpectthemto.Wemaydatesomeoneandhavetheromancefizzleout,onlyforthatpersontoturnintooneofthebestfriendswe’veeverhad.Orwemayrealizethattheperfectpartnerwe’vebeenlookingforthisentiretimewasourbestfriendindisguise.,
KillTheTimeline
Manyofussetgoalsforourselves,likewehavetobemarriedby25,haveallofourchildrenby30,andbesettledinourcareersbythetimewe’re35.Butthetruthofthematteris,peoplearedoingthesethingslaterandlaterinlife,andthey’rehappierforit.
Morewomenaresettinguptheircareersbeforetheysettledown,leadingtohavingtheirfirstchildrenwellintotheirthirtiesandevenintotheirforties.Andyoucangetmarriedwhenever.It’snotarace,andthingsaren’tliketheyusedtobe.,Societyhasbecomemoreacceptingofcouplesmarryingaftertheyhavechildren,andyourbosswillprobablyloveyoufordevotingmoreofyourchildbearingyearstodevelopinghisbusiness.
Menalvorligt,don ‘ trushthings.Rushingthingscanlandyouinarelationshipthatmayseem”goodenough”atfirstbutturnsouttobeanightmareintheend.Hold ud for noget godt, ikke bare ” godt nok.”Itmaytakelongertoobtain,butyou’llbetentimeshappierandproudofyourselfforwaitingandfornotcompromisingyourvalues.Itsurebeatsrealizingfiveyearsfromnowthatyou’resaddledwithtwokidsanddependentonahusbandwhodoesn’tloveyouasmuchasyoumaylovehim.,
Thelastthingyouwanttodoishavetostaytogether”forthekids.”Hold ud for nogen, der elsker dig.Han er der.
LearnToEnjoyTheRide
Onethingaboutsearchingforanewmateisthatit’sneverawasteoftime.Attheveryleast,youcancollectstoriestoturnintoanecdoteslateron.Andwhodoesn’tloveagooddatingnightmarestory?Sikker på,itmaybeterribleatthemoment(howmanytimescanaguybringuphismotherinonenight?),butifitgivesyousomethingtolaughatlateron,thenitmadeeverythingworthit.
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Source:pexels.com
Onamoreseriousnote,ifwegooutwithsomeonenew,andtheyrejectus,thenwecanatleastgainexperienceandstrengthfromtheencounterthatwecanthenbringtoanothernewrelationship.Plus,youcancongratulateyourselfforbeingbraveenoughtotakethatfirststepingoingoutandtryingsomethingnew.Itcanbescaryandintimidatingtomeetnewpeople,butgettingyourselfoutthereishalfthebattle.Theonethingitneveris?En god tid.,
Du’reNeverAlone
Youknowhowyou’refeelingrightnowlikethere’snooneouttherethat’srightforyou,andthereneverwillbe?Guesswhat-yoursoulmatemightbeoutthererightnow,thinkingthesamething.Hun tror,at hun skal vaske hendes forretning.Men hvis hun siger,at hun aldrig vil møde dig.
Heck,det gør ikke ‘ tvenhavetobeyourfuturelove.Therearethousandsofpeople,atanygivenmoment,whoarecopingwithabreakupanddecidingwhetherornottogiveuploveforever.,Sogoahead,haveanotherhelping(orpint)ofyourfavoriteicecream,cryoveryourfavoriteromanticcomedy,throwbackanotherpintatthepub,dowhateveryouneedtodotofeelbetteratthemomentandrevelinthefactthatyouaremostdefinitelynotalone.
SecondThoughts
Thisisgoingtobesad,buthey,youneedtoknoweveryaspectofadecisionbeforeyoumakeit,andthisone’simportant.Du kan beslutte nu,mens du er ung, at du er en.Det er det.Du giver dig kærlighed, og du kan ikke vinke videre.Butthenthemonthsandyearsgobyand,beforeyouknowit,youmaybepastyourchild-bearingyearsandintoademographicthatfindsitmuchhardertomeetsomeonenew.,
Granted,therewillalwaysbethefailedrelationshiporthespousewhopassedawaythatmakesinglesavailableineverydemographic.Butitbecomesalothardertofindsomeonewhoisn’tmarried,settleddownwithchildren,orhavingdifficultylettinggoofthebaggagefrompastrelationshipssothatheorshecanmoveonwithsomeonenew.
Thisisnottosaythatyouhavetosettleforanyonewhocomesalongsimply,soyoudon’tendupoldandalone.,Butthisistosaythatbytakingyourselfoutofthedatingpoolforawhile,monthscanbecomeyearsfasterthanyouthink,andwhenyou’reolder,youmayfindyourselfgenuinelyregrettingthedecisionyoumadewhenyouwereyounger-andthenit’stoolatetodoanythingaboutit.
Source:pexels.com
Morethananything,givinguponlovecanjustleadtoyourbecominglonely,andwhyletallofyourexeswinthatbattle?Youshouldfightforyourhappinessbecausedammit,youdeserveit-especiallyafterkissingsomanytoads.Statisticssaythatyouwillfindthatprinceeventually,evenifyouhavetokissafewmoretoadsfirst.,folk har brug for folk,og for at undgå afvigelser.Mostofushavefriendsandfamilytoturnto,butwealsoneedtheemotionalconnectionthatcomeswithromanticloveaswell.Itmaynothappenrightawayasitdoesinthemovies,butit’ssomuchbetterwhenitdoesn’t.Becausethat’swhenyoufindtruequality.
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